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Focus On Your Child

Focus On Your Child
Dr. Danny Huerta Picture
(From our March 2024 Issue)

Conquering Tantrums Before Camp Season

By Dr. Danny Huerta

For parents who send their children to summer camp, it’s about that time to start checking out available options. It’s also a good time to think about factors that can make the camping experience more pleasant or more difficult. With young children, one behavior that can make camping an arduous affair is the dreaded temper tantrum.

Tantrums include a wide range of behaviors, such as crying, screaming, hitting, biting, whining, foot-stomping, shoving, and running away. These outbursts, which may be quite energetic, can frustrate even the most even-keeled parents.

For typical kids, tantrums last less than ten minutes and become less frequent the closer they get to five or six years of age. In some cases, however, as children get older tantrums may become more intense.

When you see a tantrum coming on, consider whether your child is:

  • Hungry
  • Tired
  • Overwhelmed (by noise, change, unexpected stress)

Think about what might be driving your child’s tantrum and either make adjustments to their environment or help your child acquire the tools to navigate these situations.

Effective ways to respond to common tantrums are:

  • Provide a quick random fact. This sounds crazy but it works, especially when you provide a fun fact about something they are interested in. For example, you could say, “Did you know that a T-rex had 60 teeth in its mouth? Each was the size of a banana!” Random facts hard-shift the brain into a more logical mode, helping your child get emotionally unstuck.
  • Use timeouts to manage thoughts and emotions. Keep an emotions wheel in your timeout area, and help your child identify and discuss his emotions. In fact, give yourself a timeout chart with three to five timeouts per day – your toddler will want one, too. Invite your toddler to your time out moments and use the wheel to show what emotions you’re feeling. Explore why that emotion popped up. Talk about timeouts not as punishment but as a time to “reboot” emotionally and mention how they can be very helpful before or during a tantrum. Celebrate when your child decides to go to a timeout on their own before a meltdown!
  • Let the tantrum run its course. Since tantrums usually last less than ten minutes, you can sit or stand and watch to make sure they are safe and not breaking things. You can have headphones, a book, or something else to help you make it through that time calmly. It’s key that your child does not see tantrums as an effective way to gain control over you and your emotions. As you remain calm, your child will eventually learn that tantrums are not a good way to get what they want. When they’re done with their tantrum, move to something that will help them self-regulate – a snack, nap time, or a calming activity. Note what came before the tantrum and teach your child healthy ways to handle that trigger differently. 

Helping your child regulate, emotionally and mentally, prepares them for the lack of sleep, changes in routine, and unexpected moments that can be triggering at camp. If your child struggles with tantrums, you can use camp as a goal, but also a reward, for conquering difficult behaviors.

For more practical parenting tips, visit focusonparenting.com.

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