Focus On Your Child

(From our December 2024 Issue)

The Gift of Slowing Down

By Dr. Danny Huerta

I’ll never forget my mentor and friend, Willy Wooten, reminding me of the importance of easing up when life is frantic. “Danny,” he said, “don’t forget to pump the brakes.” This is not only wise advice, but it’s a reminder of a special gift – the gift of slowing down – we need to give our families and ourselves this Christmas.

Almost all of us have intentions of slowing down, but constant demands, distractions, and opportunities are always competing for our attention.

When we don’t slow down, we miss out on the many wonderful things all around us each day – including our kids waiting to be seen or heard. We can quickly forget that today is a precious gift we get to unwrap.

The parent-child relationship is transformational but, sadly, can just fly by if we let it. Take a deep breath and slow down! Enjoy and savor the transformation.

The gift of slowing down as a mom or dad allows for things to happen that are better than any toy you could buy your kids for Christmas. This discipline allows you to have:

Margin to play. Parental playfulness combined with warmth provides a safe and secure environment for children. It leads to deeper connection and may help children experience less negativity and fewer behavior issues. I have absolutely loved playfully looking into my kids’ eyes. When I’ve done that, I’ve been able to see their soul light up as their playfulness is drawn out. What a gift for both of us! Researchers have found that the quality of play is important. You must slow down to figure out what high quality play looks like for each of your children.
Room for conversation. Rushed and distracted conversation can leave people feeling unimportant. Meaningful and satisfying conversations, on the other hand, solidifies relationships. They create the opportunity for understanding, influence, growth, and closeness. These kinds of conversations require the discipline and challenge of carefully listening, an act of love. Slowing down allows for heart-to-heart interaction.
Time for learning and teaching. Take your time teaching your kids how to tie their shoes, wash dishes, manage their money, vacuum, and cook. There are also vital matters of character, faith, kindness, responsibility, and so on. Learning takes time, and teaching requires patience. Both benefit from slowing down. Too many families I have counseled over the years suffered because of a relentless pace they were trying to maintain, missing opportunities to teach or learn from their mistakes. Your kids need you to slow down so that they can follow in your footsteps and learn to trust your guidance.

As I reflect on when I’ve felt most connected to my kids, it’s been when I chose to “pump the brakes.” Slowing down and being present with my kids has created incredible memories and points of connection. The gift of slowing down is one your kids will never forget, because that’s when they are most likely to experience your deepest love and affirmation.

Merry Christmas and enjoy unwrapping each day…one day at a time. For more practical parenting tips, visit our YouTube channel at youtube.com/@focusonthefamilyparenting.